*Deep Breath*
Have you ever thought about doing something for so long that by the time you actually get to the point you are doing said thing that while it’s happening it seems surreal? Sort of a Deja Vu feeling but without any kind of mystery. You know why your mind is there because your mind has been there so many times before.
If any of the above makes any sense to you then you know where I am at this exact moment. I have been thinking, pondering, planning, daydreaming about this for years. I recently hinted about this in my latest podcast so now is finally launch day.
So many silent trips back and forth to Omaha thinking about this, being reminded whenever one of these songs comes on my shuffle, today is finally the day.
Here is what’s going to happen. I am going to break down a song lyrically. The original plan was to compare my interpretation to a website that is sort of a kin to Wikipedia for songs. People post what they believe the meaning to be line by line and things get removed/added/voted up and down. Theories get sited with interviews of the artist in question and normally what remains tends to make a lot of sense. However after finishing the first draft I tossed that portion out, but you’re still welcome to check my work if you like, the site is easy enough to find.
Long ago I had decided on St. Vincent’s “Digital Witness” to be the first song I broke down, but before we hit the lyrics something you should understand about St. Vincent or Annie or whatever you prefer I call her, she has given me every impression that she is an extremely private person. David Bryne of Talking Heads fame toured with her, made music with her and remarked afterwards that he didn’t know her any better after all of that then before any sort of collaboration had started. I say all of this because I’m a strong believer in motive, and the motive for this song lies heavily in Annie’s understandable desire for privacy. As if to cement my point further I happened onto a podcast where the host Marc Maron said he had seen pictures of her from early in her career. Like most non-vain humans she was embarassed when Marc asked why she said completely out of the blue "The Internet is a cemetery where nothing ever dies."
With that in mind let’s FINALLY get started:
Get back, to your seat
Get back, gnashing teeth
We’re a little slow getting on the anti-social media train, but traces of this sentiment still start early. Get back to your seat at the computer, in front of your phone, get back to gnashing your teeth. I’m guessing, the gnashing of teeth is a reference to the negative effect social media and especially Facebook has on people. They see all these wonderful things posted by friends, relatives, distant acquaintances and find themselves lacking. They compare themselves to this false ideal that even the people who are posting aren’t living up to. I’m no longer a very religious person but I am always in awe of the brilliance of the inclusion of the 9th commandment. “Thou Shall Not Covet”. This sin is right up there with stealing, murder, all kinds of really really bad things, so why is basically being jealous in there? Because this sin is sort of the marijuana of sins, greed, stealing, cheating all stem from wanting what someone else has. Facebook and other social media cause people to believe that everyone else has this perfect life, kids, looks, even dinner. People bite down on this effect hard, like a hungry fish on a hook.
I know I’ll get my feet put to the fire for talking religion but this is how I feel. Don't like it? Post about how angry it makes you on Facebook…..go ahead, I’ll wait,...maybe you’ll get little hits of dopamine in the form of likes. I wish you well,.....
Done? Okay we’re back.
Of course everyone looks amazing and put together on Facebook. No one is going to post “My son Donny is flunking Geometry and I caught him doing acid in the shed.” Okay, maybe some people will but this just leads us to our next line.
Ooh, I want all of your mind
I doubt Annie wants to know anything about anyone in a voyeuristic way but she needs to put a voice to this unspoken desire that HAS to exist for so many to share so much. She is sort of both mocking and trying to understand this desire to share everything there is about yourself, dumped out there to be indexed for all time on the internet, even your teenage son tripping balls in a shed. As if to say people actually believe everyone must know everything about them so someone out there must being saying, demanding everything in your mind be shared.
Before more social media bashing we take a short detour into reality TV
People turn the TV on, it looks just like a window, yeah
People turn the TV on, it looks just like a window, yeah
The success and longevity of reality TV is and always will be baffling to me, but in reality tv’s earliest form in things like MTV’s “The Real World” or “The Osbournes” you pretty much just have a camera rolling while people are living their lives, in other words a window. Yes, the genre has morphed into all kinds of things, even some entertaining things but when so much is produced, a shotgun blast effect has occurred. Something interesting was bound to be hit.
Yes the irony this genre is called “Reality TV” gets worse with each passing day. There was a time when people used TV to escape reality, to visit far away planets, to get invested in the lives of fictional characters, romances etc. Now the E! Channel literally has a show with a bunch of rich LA kids sitting across from each other drinking fancy lattes and having mind numbing conversation showcasing just how out of touch they are with the real world 99% of people live in.. So you went from an escape, a place where the imagination was stoked and the possibilities were endless to a boring window through which highly stylized version of life is presented as brain drain with no creative value whatsoever.
Wow, only three lines in,...I should have known this would happen. Luckily a lot of repetition occurs throughout the rest of the song.
Digital witnesses, what's the point of even sleeping?
If I can't show it, if you can't see me
What's the point of doing anything?
Annie finally gives a name to both the consumers and the producers of this content as “Digital Witnesses”. A hint of sardonic knife twisting is evident with “What’s the point of even sleeping?” A reference to the fact that the only time people seem to not be sharing every detail of their lives is while they are asleep.
I hadn’t thought of this before but I believe the next line is perhaps a call back to what was previously a bit of a mystifying line for me, the line about gnashing teeth. The frustration that comes with not enough people viewing all the content you are putting out there, not enough followers, likes, whatevers. If I don’t have enough people looking at every detail of my life then why should I bother doing anything at all? I’ve seen this in person, I’ve attended many chorus and band concerts of my stepdaughter and I look around and people are only viewing their children through their cameras. There is something to be said for just enjoying the moment. I make it a point to stop filming or just holding my video camera in place (yes a VIDEO camera, because I’m a grumpy old man who still doesn’t have a smartphone), because yes there is importance in capturing my step-daughters hard work, but you still have to actually LIVE your life from time to time instead of recording it.
I’m cheating a bit here, the next line is part of the above three lines before the next short instrumental break but I’m separating the line out because I believe we’re getting to the panic/horror part of the song.
This is no time for confessing
The digital witnesses are angry. Why are you questioning things? Get back to your seat, get back to making content. If you don’t have enough followers then you need to be sharing more and better things. We don’t have time for introspection or thought.
Now we’re getting dark. I really hadn’t realized just how dark until now, but I do believe this whole electronic pissing contest does have its victims. The only line in the next section that is different from what we’ve heard before is pretty stark, but I don’t think the line was intended to be that way. I think the line was meant to show to what great lengths people are spitballing in their heads to get some sort of edge in the digital witness game:
Digital witnesses, what's the point of even sleeping?
If I can't show it, if you can't see me
Watch me jump right off the London Bridge
This is no time for confessing
Next is more repetition. The lines that are different are worth breaking apart though so I’ll point that out.
People turn the TV on and throw it out the window, yeah
Get back to your stare
I care, but I don't care
Oh oh, I, I want all of your mind
Give me all of your mind
I want all of your mind
Give me all of it
x
At this point I believe Annie is hoping you’re getting what she is saying and the image of folks finally getting fed up and throwing that “window” out the “window” is cathartic and worth cheering for. Also worth noting is the double use of the word “window” as a tool as a means to fight back, instead of a creative prison, a portal to a land of no creative ideas.
Sadly though, the digital world isn’t going to give up that easy. Get back to staring at that window, at others’ lives, at sharing yours. The care but I don’t care is all part of the game in my opinion. People are on Facebook and pretend to care, feel obligated to like things they really don’t care about all in the hopes their things will be equally, hollowly (is that a word?) rewarded.
Digital witnesses, what's the point of even sleeping?
If I can't show it, if you can't see me
What's the point of doing anything?
What's the point of even sleeping?
So I stopped sleeping, yeah I stopped sleeping
Won't somebody sell me back to me?
The last two lines are the only new ones and they are some of the most powerful. Our digital witness has now given up on sleep, I don’t think literally. I think Annie is just sort of sarcastically pushing the obsession to the extreme but the line is necessary because the setup up for the final line is needed. Facebook operates by getting to know its users so they can advertise with smart bomb like accuracy. They are literally selling everything about you to everyone. That’s what I believe this line is saying in the literal sense, but I’d like to point out that like any good piece of poetry or lyrical content this piece is working on a number of levels and for the most part I’ve just scraped the top level off everything for this blog, otherwise this blog would be far, far too long. I will however hit the last line on more than one level because this line happens to be my favorite.
Won't somebody sell me back to me?
On the one hand you have the literal selling of one's information, the realization of just how much of yourself you’ve put out there for the whole world to see, for Facebook to monetize for advertisers. On the other you’ve created this persona online and worked so hard at perfecting, polishing this false image of yourself and your life that you no longer know who you really are and with terror beg to buy your real self back from the insatiable maw of Facebook's advertising algorithms.
Perhaps the thought has occured to you while reading this that I’m being hypocritical, yes I have a twitter account for my blog, yes I do wish more people would read this thing, yes my wife posts a link on Facebook hoping to get more readers. Does this make me a hypocrite? I begrudgingly agree to that to a certain extent.
This is what amazes me. I’ve been thinking about doing this type of blog and this particular song for all of these years and the one line that gave me trouble is now on about meaning number three or four but only after ACTUALLY beginning to write.
Gnashing Teeth
You can’t escape the digital witness game, even if you are an amazingly talented musician with tremendous guitar skills or you love to write and just want to get better. You still have to play the digital game, you still have to put yourself out there. Even if you feel as though what you’re making is more than just a window, more than just an instagram post by your co-worker’s cousin of the stir fry they just made for dinner.
After all, if I write it and no one reads it, what’s the point of writing anything?
