Chasing A Dream

From the day I set foot in middle school it became apparent that everything from that point on was to be done to prepare for College. I needed to know what I wanted to do when I grew up and I needed to know fast.

I even asked my counselor about this during her visit to my first period science class. The silliness of all of this wasn't lost on my then 12 year old mind. She responded with a calculated and matter of fact “Yes, you should have things planned” or some such thing.

From that moment on until the day I graduated from High School every action, whether solo or in a class of non-behaving students, was countered with a warning of how this or that wouldn't fly in college.

There were warnings of professors that were cold and uncaring, of writing forty page papers every night that no matter how well you wrote them, no matter how hard you worked, would totally get an “F”.

As it turned out I went to a small college filled with classmates from small towns who had no idea what to expect in college. Everything that was foreshadowed like a chilling Nostradamus prophecy never came to pass. Professors actually seemed more patient than the teachers from my former school district.

All of this planning resulted in constant tests to determine what my pre-teen classmates and I should take the following semester so we were on the right path to whatever our major was going to be in college.

I only remember one such survey. The end result was that I should be an author. Sounds great right? But why not rock star? Or Astronaut? The odds of a successful career in such a field seemed not worth the bother even then.

A classmate of mine didn't take the survey seriously, as well he shouldn't have. His end result was that he should pursue the “Tree Surgeon” career path. I’m sure the counselor involved didn't like that result as I’m not aware of any “Tree Surgeon” major at the local university.

Despite all the angst and distrust caused by all this future planning I must admit that survey was correct. I truly believe that I was wired to be an author or at least a writer. I can admit that now. Still, the prospects of being able to make a living doing so were and are on par with winning the lottery or Bo Pelini admitting fault for something*.

I instead went the safe route, heading towards the Computer Programming world, in which I’m happy. Still I don’t think it’s what I was designed to do.

For a time when the required Calculus classes for the Computer Science major were still making me their @#$%& and flunking me out of school very late in my College Career, I briefly considered switching majors to English. I wasn't forced to pull the trigger as my genius (and 5th and final adviser) managed to substitute the remainder of my Calc classes for some flowcharts business class and a business organization class I could take offline. On top of everything else, I never even had to do a final project. To this day I still have to remind myself that I ACTUALLY DID graduate.

How those two joke classes add up to Calc 2, 3,4 and a final project I’ll never know, but for that wizard of an adviser I’ll be forever grateful.  

I had a lot of English major friends though. All but two of them got their teaching degree to go with it. I only remember two friends who got their English degree and didn't go on to teach. One is working at ShopKo and the other has been working at Olive Garden for 10+ years now.

This reminds me of the old college major joke:

The Engineering major asks, "How does it work?"

The Accounting major asks, "How much does it cost?"

The Art major asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

Jokes aside, if that’s what you’re passionate about you should totally go for it. And even if you are in year ten of distributing free breadsticks and grinding cheese into a salad while waiting to hear “when”, at least you studied what you love.

So does that mean I’m quitting my job, buying an old timey typewriter and going to town? Heck no! Daddy needs his nacho money.

I’m struggling to get to my point here (big surprise) but I’ll take a swing at it. It goes a little something like this.

It’s all about setting your standards very very low and exploiting technicalities. How very American of me right?

Just like an indoor football player from some town you've never heard of can lay claim to being a professional football player even if he only makes $200 bucks a game, I can say I’m a professional writer if I get money in exchange for writing something, no matter how small that amount of money.

I never thought of this until just now, but someone could just pay me a dollar to write something for them. That would be way better than the scheme I was concocting...oh well. I’ll still roll with “Scheme A”.

The other dream I have is both more and less attainable thanks to advancements in technology. I work in the book industry, complete with a warehouse. Ever since college I've always dreamed of having one copy of my book on a shelf there, even if I never sell a copy.

Everyone knows just how bad the odds are about getting something published. All the submissions and rejections. In fact it’s my understanding most publishers won’t even read anything unless you have an agent. All these things combined made my “shelf dream” always seem like a far off goal.

This is where the wonders of technology and the internet come in. Thanks to the wonderful internet world we live in anyone can self publish. It’s just a matter of money (just like everything else in America, more on that in the coming blogs).

Yes, even Jethro from Raccoon Kill, Alabama can self publish his 800 page manifesto on how the squirrels in his backyard are involved in a secret government conspiracy to control his mind.

Obviously I need to do more research especially if I’m going up against Jethro, but it’s worth a look. In the mean time….back to “Scheme A”.

When I started writing this I didn't realize how much legalese was/is involved. So much so, I can’t even tell you how it works, what it is, or any other number of things I don’t fully understand. The good news is you’re all smart people and I’m sure you’ll figure it out pretty quickly.

I’m pretty sure even if I follow all the rules they will find their way out of the deal. If that happens I’m still okay with it, it’s all about chasing a dream. I’m just grateful I don’t have to keep running breadsticks to people while doing so.

*= You didn’t really think I’d let the Bo firing go without sneaking in a shot at him did you?  

New Blogs On The Way!

New Blogs on the way, stay tuned folks.

1000 Words

The below image was sent to me by an alert blog reader of mine. It’s important to note that I don’t encourage the taking of pictures while driving a vehicle. When the reader asked if I wanted a picture sent to me I joked that I did because from what I understand a picture could be worth up to 1000 words on the open market. The result was a challenge issued to myself to write 1000 words about this picture. Although in retrospect the more challenging...um challenge would have been to keep it closer to 1000 words…..

After the image...let the counting begin.

I take this way home from the gym. Normally because I can’t turn left across two lanes of traffic.

I like that light, seems like most of the time I don’t need to stop at all. The light at the top of the hill is another story. 56th and Pioneers. I don’t think I’ve ever made it through that light without a long wait.

Of course, now that light reminds me of that accident I saw before I went to my brother’s house and helped him reshingle his roof. I find it funny to think about how hot it was that day, how brutally hot it was….

And now, it’s really really brutally cold out. And you really don’t notice the change. Every year things change so gradually, day by day, little by little. The sun rises a minute later and sets a minute sooner each day and before you know it, it’s dark by 5 pm and it’s so cold it physically HURTS to be outside.

The barren trees in this picture remind me of that too. The landscape around us changes so gradually too. Little by little, bud by bud, soon the whole world will be green again. And my allergies will hit me something fierce.

I don't really mind though. I like spring. It’s my birthday time. Although my birthday seems to mean less and less as each following year goes by, I still remember happier previous birthdays. Growing up is bittersweet.

I can remember being roughly preschool age and crying because I didn't want to grow older. Even then I knew being an adult sucked. A lot of that contributed to my constant nervous breakdowns in high school as the harsh realities of life slowly sank in.

When my mind doesn't have something better to be bummed out about, a chain is created, a string of thoughts, or “threads” as they say in computer science parlance, rapidly form in a Kevin Bacon connection kind of way. I think about the past, how I can never go back, and even as I sit there breathing, each passing second is one I can never ever get back. When I was having constant nervous breakdowns in high school resulting in panic attacks, these connections could happen in a matter of seconds and without warning.

I seemed to have diverged quite a ways from the picture at hand. And more than likely bummed out my readers in the process. (sorry guys)

The parking lot is for Goodrich, I can remember going there as I child as a rare treat and always getting mint chip ice cream. Again, we go back to happy memories from the past....Kevin Bacon…..boom boom boom….tears.

I remember their hard black metal chairs. The inside also has a distinctive smell. A good smell, a uniquely Goodrich smell.

I can remember not too long ago sitting perpendicular to where the vehicle taking the picture currently sits.

A car was trying to get out of the parking lot, had to make it through the parked cars in my lane, avoid oncoming cars in the turning lane, and cars oncoming in the opposite direction from the other lane.

If that was me I would have just said screw it, taken a right out of the parking lot on 48th and just gone around the block. Sure it might take more time, and it’s not about impatience on my part, there is the added aspect of safety.

All of this brings us back to the beginning which is why I often take this route home from the gym,  a right turn to avoid and not wait for four lanes of traffic before making a left turn and gunning the gas to avoid being t-boned..

All of this driving talk reminds me of just what a dangerous crap shoot driving is. You could be the best driver in the world, you could be following all the rules to a tee, even going the speed limit, hell you might be at a complete stop and someone could rear end you, totaling your car.

Mentioning cars reminds me of a show on either Discovery, TLC, or one of those channels. It’s prolly been a decade since it’s been on. I don’t remember the name. I do remember it was hosted by a quirky British guy in a lab coat.

He would explain the inner workings of machines in our lives in a way that anyone could understand them.

The show was equally quirky in a uniquely British sort of way. Almost Monty Pythonesque. Complete with cute, sarcastic call back animations. The two episodes I remember were an episode about how VCRs work and another about cars.

Now we’re starting to get into just how long ago this was...VCRs, an actual show involving learning on TLC or the Discovery channel, instead of yet another pawn shop, Bigfoot chasing, cupcake making or logging reality show.

Anyhoo, at the end of the episode the host, white lab coat on, briefly covered the exhaust of a car with a trash bag while listing off all of the bad things about cars. They are loud, inefficient, expensive, bad for the environment, dangerous...etc….etc….... (Dangerous being what hooked this show into my train of thought).

“So why are automobiles so successful?” he asked, “because they are so reliable”.

Of course the trash bag filled up with exhaust and had to be emptied before he even got done with his list of bad things about cars, but his point was well made.

Despite the necessity for the preemptive trash bag-o-exhaust emptying, his point was well made. Obviously, I mean, I remember it all these years later.

The efficiency point connects my brain to the demise of the steam locomotive. A lot of people think that they were replaced because they weren't as powerful as diesel locomotives; this isn't the case at all. Ever notice how many diesel locomotives are on an average train now a days? Even with six decades of diesel locomotive development? Now go find a picture of a steam train from back in the day, normally only one steam locomotive…. the killer? Efficiency. Steam locomotives had to stop about every fifteen miles to get fresh sand, coal, and water. Which is why there is a town almost exactly every fifteen miles when you go west of North Platte, Nebraska. There needed to be people to maintain the water towers, coal towers, then you need a manned signal tower, a Morse code operator so the trains that are stopping don’t collide. All of those people need places to live, they get married, their kids need schools, schools need teachers, all these people need food, so grocery stores...etc, etc, etc....next thing you know a town has sprung up. If I remember correctly, due to a lack of creativity the towns are even in alphabetical order.

Add to that, if a steam locomotive wasn't watched like a hawk (and even sometimes when they were) they would in rare cases tend to explode in an entire town shaking, earthquake generating iron shrapnel bomb, which, in case you hadn't already guessed….falls into the “really bad thing” category.

I’m already well over the 1000 word limit and I didn't get to talk about diesel locomotives in more depth, the restaurant up the street a few blocks (Remember when this blog was about a picture?). The unique history of the land next to the street in question, the cool local historian who I learned about it from… and on and on...

Damn, sure got my money’s worth (or should I say “word’s worth”) out of this picture.